i saw the fink run and it opened up my eyes

As many of you know, I had quite the Cross Country career in High School.  Well, that's if you don't count the knee problem, poor nutrition, broken ankle and pure laziness that I encountered.  Let's rephrase: I had quite a successful season of Cross Country.  But I'll skip to the point... my last 5k race was 5 years ago and sense then my running has included breaks, a ridiculously slow pace or beer.  (I'm talking a literal beer run here.  Long story short, it was the fastest sprint ever.  I don't let much get in the way of me and my tequila).

I've become what some experts describe as "out of shape."  This didn't bother me for a while, I could use the elliptical or bike like no other, I have finally 100% committed to run a half marathon with 2 different people.  (My current belief is that if I run 50% with each of them it equals 100).  

Great plan.  Introduce the "Almost Housewives of Milwaukee" a soon-to-be pod cast (or, more likely, an almost pod cast).  I have a group of 4 attractive, funny, and alcoholic friend who have turned ourselves into 45-year old women 3 times a week.  Or at least what we hope to be like in 20 years.  We now go on "mom walks" which include a huffing and puffing mile followed by a stroll around the city before heading home to put the kids to bed and feed the husband.  I really enjoyed this stage of my life.

As all great things do, this stage grew into our "half marathon training" or my daily slice of hell.  Don't get me wrong, I like to run.  In perfect conditions.  Downhill.  But the thing is, it's hard to find a 13-mile stretch downhill in good conditions around Milwaukee.  Instead, my trusty trainer Kathleen bribes me into running up hills and around the city.  This may be slightly dramatic.  We have a four-mile course, we run about 2 1/2 of those miles, with walks in between, and we've only done that twice.

Enter Milwaukee's array of summer festivals.  Enter Rosemary.  Enter a 5k.  Put those together and I got sucked into running a 5k.  

So last night I headed downtown with 3 friends to test my (lack of) athletic ability.  As soon as we got there I ran into a problem.  There were people.  Lots of people.  And when I am drunk or just hanging out, I love people.  But as soon as I do a sit up or run a block a want nothing to do with anything else that breathes oxygen.  Personal preference.  We got to the starting line with the other 4,000 cattle and waited to dash.

I do have to give the organizers some create, we only had to walk the first 45 seconds.  Although I would have preferred to do that all 3 miles, we picked up the pace fast.  And then it went like this.

.5 miles- I'm going to die, why are we running up hill.  But we set our pace with the 8-year olds in front of us.

.7 miles- Rosmary pulls  out her phone to listen to music.  We rocked out to some MIA as some guy who had obviously just ran the Boston Marathon found it appropriate to comment on our texting.  Excuse us for trying to provide some entertainment.

.8 miles- Contemplate cutting through the park.  Decide we don't want to get in trouble for texting and cutting.

1.0 mile!- Downhill... finally.

1.5 miles- Pass up water station, sprint back to water table.

2.0 miles- Shin splints set it.  I'm so glad I just paid 125 dollars for shoes to fix this problem.  Decide I will keep running until we go back up hill.

2.1 miles- Start to doubt previous decision.

2.5 miles- Some stanbyer yells we're halfway down.  The entire racing crowd turns on her and yells back that she's a lier.  That's what she gets for trying to be supportive.  And lazy.

2.7 miles- Kathleen taunts me into finishing the race.  That, and the lady running with her 2 month old in the stroller passing me.

2.8 miles- We pass up the beer station.  The first time I can readily remember passing up free booze IN MY LIFE.

3.1 MILES!!! We made.  33 minutes of pain, sarcasm and more pain and we sprinted slowly to the finish line.

From here, they ran out of cups for water.  As much as I like sharing water with all of Milwaukee, we snuck our own bottle and walked around the festival like sweaty hobos drinking out of a gallon of water.  

Looking back (all of 12 hours) I'm glad I finished it.  It kind of sucks though, now I can't tell Kathleen that 3 miles is too far for our training.  I'll have to come up with a new excuse.  Like death.