laundry lover

Have you ever had your entire life crumble to pieces due to one trip to the laundry mat?  If you haven't, feel lucky.  The simplistic yet horrifying events have in fact taken place in my life recently and if you are not careful, it could happen to you.

While I am not what some call a laundry god, I do know my fair share.  Or, have learned my fair share.  I spent the first year of college putting the detergent in the wrong spot and on multiple occasions, forgot to turn the dryer on.  Of course, this always happened in the dorm and usually when someone was around to ridicule me.  And there was the occasion of running into the love-of-my-life (turned shy, weird boy) whilst bent over displaying my granny panties to the world.  

But even after these incidences, I had a strong feeling, want, and wish that these lessons would prepare me for meeting a suitable match while separating my lights and darks.  I mean, it happens in the movies, right.  Boy, was I wrong.

A few days ago I was doing a small (i.e. 3 loads) bit of laundry at the Maytag (no, they do not pay me, they just have a monopoly where I live).  I was quietly reading my book and waiting for my clothes to dry.  Side not, I dry EVERYTHING.  If it was made past the year 2000, it should survive in a dryer.  I was trying to ignore the screaming 5-year-old running around the place and attempting not to listen to my neighbors conversation.   It's always interesting there; you have a mix of students and then those who live in the surrounding ghetto.  Fun times.

As I got up to go get my things, I spot a cute guy out of the corner of my eye.  (Enter classy, lovey dovey music).  However, instead of make quick eye contact, this guy proceeds to stare at me as I walk to the dryer and go through all of my clothes.  I turn around, and he's still staring.  Not moving his glance.  Not trying to act cool.  Being creepy and stalkerish.  I throw my mostly damp "dried clothing" into a bag and high-tailed out.  Crushed that my life-long dream of meeting the perfect guy while performing a hated chore like Cinderella would not end happily ever after.

So, the next time you see a cute laundry scene in a movie like Big Daddy, don't even bother to think it could happen to you.  As for me, I will wait patiently in my castle for Prince Charming to slay a dragon to get to me.