dear scary late night commercials

Dear Scary Late-Night TV Commercials,

I think my greeting says it all: you are scary.  As one of the world's jumpiest people, I do not appreciate you.  While I understand you do have your place in society, i.e. before Saw 900 or some equivalent of bad story and blood, and know that some humans actually like you; you DO NOT have a right to interrupt my marathon of sappy chick flicks.  Especially at 2 in the morning.

First, I am not asleep because I cannot sleep.  Some man with a chain-saw and a scary mask does not lead to sweet dreams and does not make me any more wanting to place my head on a pillow and dream about you.

Second, as my love life is already dwindling, you intruding on my romantic comedy reminds me of the actually reality of what I am watching.  Which is none.  

Finally, anyone who may want to watch you will not be watching the Wedding Date or 10 Things I Hate About You or 2 Weeks Notice or Mean Girls etc.  While I enjoy watching Lindsey Lohen getting publicly ridiculed, that does not me I want to see her head cut off with a chain saw.  

Please, think about your audience and who you want to market to.  Stop wasting your time scaring me.

Much Appreciated,

Lindsey